Things My Co-Workers Say

Ponies?

Josh — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 21:04:52 +0000

Does anyone want some stuff for your hands so they can smell like My Little Pony? No related posts. No related posts.

Mixed Message

Josh — Tue, 16 Jun 2009 20:18:47 +0000

I agree. This seems like a good idea, but in reality it’s probably a terrible one. No related posts. No related posts.

Gee, thanks?

Josh — Mon, 04 May 2009 22:19:17 +0000

I don’t feel like wasting my energy checking up on the people I work with. No related posts. No related posts.

Who’s Your Daddy?

Julie — Mon, 04 May 2009 21:42:07 +0000

All babies change colors. No related posts. No related posts.

Best When Demonstrated

Julie — Mon, 04 May 2009 21:41:26 +0000

This is how a muppet without a hand in its ass would sit. No related posts. No related posts.

Running Late

Julie — Mon, 04 May 2009 21:21:26 +0000

He’s gonna give me a mouthful when I get home. No related posts. No related posts.

New Site Design

Josh — Mon, 15 Dec 2008 14:44:21 +0000

I pushed a new site design over the weekend. I still have some fine tuning to do. Let me know what you think. No related posts. No related posts.

Food for Thought

Josh — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 15:36:44 +0000

I kinda wanna throw up now… and I’m pissed cause I wanted ice cream No related posts. No related posts.

Riding the bike to work

Josh — Fri, 08 Aug 2008 12:45:15 +0000

Changing your shorts don’t change your ass crack. No related posts. No related posts.

Seriously

Julie — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 19:36:17 +0000

I can’t keep my hands of your balls. No related posts. No related posts.

Walkie-hump

Julie — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 19:32:17 +0000

I feel like he’s like a dog who walks around humping. No related posts. No related posts.

Getting to know you …

Julie — Thu, 24 Jul 2008 13:56:05 +0000

I like that shirt. Can I see your teeth? No related posts. No related posts.

Work ethic

Julie — Thu, 24 Jul 2008 13:55:21 +0000

I’m all business. I do not have time for gnome funerals. No related posts. No related posts.

All growed up

Julie — Thu, 24 Jul 2008 13:54:29 +0000

When did you first learn about lesbians? No related posts. No related posts.

HarPy BiPthday

Julie — Thu, 24 Jul 2008 13:53:39 +0000

We didn’t have confetti so we tossed the salad. No related posts. No related posts.

Did you have to bring your dog into it?

Julie — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 15:09:06 +0000

You and your dog have ruined organic peanut butter for me. No related posts. No related posts.

Customer Service

Julie — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 14:15:00 +0000

We own the manure regardless of what the cow ate. No related posts. No related posts.

Salesism 47

Julie — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 14:14:21 +0000

You gotta touch ‘em when they’re happy. No related posts. No related posts.

Call my editor

Julie — Tue, 01 Jul 2008 19:27:12 +0000

So you can arrange flowers but not commas? No related posts. No related posts.

Famous Texas Sayings – II

Julie — Tue, 01 Jul 2008 19:26:43 +0000

It’s so flat …

Yep, you can stand on a tuna can and watch your dog run away for two weeks.

No related posts.

Freudian Slip

Julie — Tue, 01 Jul 2008 19:25:53 +0000

Pull your shirt up, I can see your stomach. No related posts. No related posts.

Outsourcing

Julie — Tue, 01 Jul 2008 19:25:01 +0000

They closed the office today. They are out throwing stones. No related posts. No related posts.

Redemption

Julie — Tue, 01 Jul 2008 19:24:17 +0000

It’s like a high maintenance girlfriend. You wine her, you dine her and she still won’t redeem. No related posts. No related posts.

Biblical references

Julie — Tue, 01 Jul 2008 19:23:14 +0000

Teach ‘em to fish or we’re fucked forever. No related posts. No related posts.

Compliance

Julie — Tue, 01 Jul 2008 19:22:38 +0000

Do we know that workers aren’t wiping their asses with their hands? No related posts. No related posts.

Shipping troubles

Julie — Tue, 01 Jul 2008 19:22:09 +0000

Where is it? Is it strapped to a turtle? No related posts. No related posts.

Sales advice

Julie — Tue, 01 Jul 2008 19:21:35 +0000

Don’t pee in the punch bowl. No related posts. No related posts.

Good times

Julie — Tue, 01 Jul 2008 19:21:10 +0000

It’s like sticking my face in a fan. No related posts. No related posts.

Too much HGTV?

Julie — Tue, 01 Jul 2008 19:20:43 +0000

I decided over the weekend that I don’t use feathers enough. No related posts. No related posts.

Ewwwwww

Julie — Tue, 01 Jul 2008 19:20:06 +0000

It’s like when someone hands you warm candy from their pocket. No related posts. No related posts.

From the corner office …

Julie — Tue, 01 Jul 2008 19:19:33 +0000

Throw me a bone every once-in-a-while. After all, I am the boss. No related posts. No related posts.

Meeting munchies

Julie — Tue, 01 Jul 2008 19:18:54 +0000

We’re doing the fat girl shuffle. No related posts. No related posts.

Must be a start-up

Julie — Tue, 01 Jul 2008 19:18:23 +0000

We will be profitable by the end of this year. No related posts. No related posts.

Date much?

Julie — Tue, 01 Jul 2008 19:17:55 +0000

Lesbian witches are not the most stable portion of society. No related posts. No related posts.

Hello, recruiter

Julie — Tue, 01 Jul 2008 19:17:17 +0000

My sense of humor should go on my resume. No related posts. No related posts.

Small fire

Julie — Mon, 30 Jun 2008 16:33:03 +0000

How many rupees is a refrigerator? No related posts. No related posts.

Bad day?

Julie — Mon, 30 Jun 2008 16:31:25 +0000

I’m trying to crawl back into the womb. No related posts. No related posts.

Mensa?

Julie — Mon, 30 Jun 2008 16:29:34 +0000

I realize I’m not a smart person. I know, I’ve been tested. No related posts. No related posts.

Match-making

Julie — Mon, 30 Jun 2008 16:29:03 +0000

I can also see her with a King Dong. No related posts. No related posts.

A little press

Julie — Mon, 30 Jun 2008 16:27:51 +0000

Your little thing needs big facts. No related posts. No related posts.

Gymnast dreams

Julie — Mon, 30 Jun 2008 16:26:57 +0000

He’s alreday caught me doing handstands in the living room. No related posts. No related posts.

He’s tired

Julie — Mon, 30 Jun 2008 16:25:24 +0000

Ohmigod! I have been servicing that woman non-stop! No related posts. No related posts.

Now that’s talent!

Julie — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 13:31:50 +0000

I managed to stick my ass to my chair with a Slo Poke. No related posts. No related posts.

Falling on a sword

Julie — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 13:25:07 +0000

Lesson learned: made-up words are hard to teach. No related posts. No related posts.

Nice posture

Julie — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 13:23:15 +0000

He looks like his butt cheeks have been super-glued together! No related posts. No related posts.

Short-term memory loss

Julie — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 13:22:12 +0000

Oh, and I remember now why I was making funny noises. No related posts. No related posts.

Outdoorsey (not)

Julie — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 13:20:57 +0000

Were you camping al dente? No related posts. No related posts.

Cliche

Julie — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 13:20:15 +0000

We need to put more arms and legs around it. No related posts. No related posts.

Just another day in the office …

Julie — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 13:19:42 +0000

Do I have whip cream in my hair? No related posts. No related posts.

Homophobic?

Julie — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 13:18:45 +0000

I didn’t know if she was gonna kiss me, but whatever she was doing, I wasn’t for it. No related posts. No related posts.

Blonde III

Julie — Mon, 16 Jun 2008 16:40:41 +0000

Recycling is a conspiracy theory. And don’t get me started about global warming! No related posts. No related posts.

Where’s blondie?

Julie — Mon, 16 Jun 2008 16:39:51 +0000

Maybe they dragged her up into the Alps and made her the new Swiss Miss. No related posts. No related posts.

Customer support

Julie — Mon, 16 Jun 2008 16:38:56 +0000

It’s all magic and it’s all very simple. No related posts. No related posts.

Thanks Doc

Julie — Mon, 16 Jun 2008 16:37:54 +0000

I feel like I could swallow a whole turkey! No related posts. No related posts.

Hard act to follow

Julie — Mon, 16 Jun 2008 16:37:05 +0000

I feel like the dog act after a stripper. No related posts. No related posts.

Ah, yes

Julie — Mon, 16 Jun 2008 16:36:12 +0000

There’s only so many ways to put on your pants. No related posts. No related posts.

Gadgets

Julie — Mon, 16 Jun 2008 16:35:26 +0000

He just has to do one thing with a shoe and I’m happy. No related posts. No related posts.

Bundle of joy

Julie — Mon, 16 Jun 2008 16:34:04 +0000

The first few days you’re just trying to keep them alive. No related posts. No related posts.

Religion

Julie — Mon, 16 Jun 2008 16:33:21 +0000

My grandma went to a church one time and they were against deoderant. No related posts. No related posts.

Come again?

Julie — Mon, 16 Jun 2008 16:32:19 +0000

Oh and my husband had some questions about your hole. No related posts. No related posts.

Handy

Julie — Mon, 16 Jun 2008 16:31:11 +0000

I mean I hit my thumb with a hammer like 7 to 10 times! No related posts. No related posts.

Twister anyone?

Julie — Mon, 16 Jun 2008 16:30:06 +0000

When I do it, I have to grab one corner of the matress and swing my legs out. No related posts. No related posts.

Dirty

Julie — Mon, 16 Jun 2008 16:28:57 +0000

Meanwhile, who ever thought of that is picturing baby-Tees, underwear and a pillow fight. No related posts. No related posts.

Good to know

Julie — Mon, 16 Jun 2008 16:27:56 +0000

I’d rather be pants-ed than shark-ed! No related posts. No related posts.

Drats

Julie — Mon, 16 Jun 2008 16:26:49 +0000

Yeah, Virginia sucks. Everything’s illegal here. No related posts. No related posts.

Huh

Julie — Mon, 16 Jun 2008 16:25:56 +0000

Can you feel the sexual tension between the two Mikes? No related posts. No related posts.

Nostalgic

Julie — Mon, 16 Jun 2008 16:25:14 +0000

The mob’s not what it used to be since Ricco. No related posts. No related posts.

Blonde II

Julie — Mon, 16 Jun 2008 16:24:33 +0000

I may snort, but I walk pretty. No related posts. No related posts.

Prayin’

Julie — Mon, 16 Jun 2008 16:23:11 +0000

Dear God, thanks for making me hot. No related posts. No related posts.

Company assets

Julie — Mon, 16 Jun 2008 16:20:34 +0000

26 e-mails today about facial hair. No related posts. No related posts.

Got it

Julie — Mon, 16 Jun 2008 16:19:54 +0000

You had me at “blah, blah, blah.” No related posts. No related posts.

Humble

Julie — Mon, 16 Jun 2008 16:17:47 +0000

I know I’m pretty. I’m probably worth money in the Middle East. No related posts. No related posts.

Hello Ahthifur

Julie — Tue, 10 Jun 2008 19:32:07 +0000

I mean I’m fine, but if I got pulled over I’m not sure I could pass a breath-a-lizer. No related posts. No related posts.

Dinner with the CEO

Julie — Tue, 10 Jun 2008 19:29:16 +0000

The sequins will save you. No related posts. No related posts.

Say Cheese!

Julie — Mon, 02 Jun 2008 20:57:30 +0000

That’s what happens when you let a blind guy schedule a photographer.” No related posts. No related posts.

About last night …

Julie — Tue, 13 May 2008 13:46:31 +0000

I did things to a ghost that I don’t think you can or should do. No related posts. No related posts.

Ah, Love.

Julie — Wed, 23 Apr 2008 18:54:46 +0000

“She’s ugly, but she’s mine.” No related posts. No related posts.

Politically Corupt.

Julie — Wed, 23 Apr 2008 18:53:33 +0000

“No, really, a real retarded man…” No related posts. No related posts.

Parlor Tricks.

Julie — Mon, 21 Jan 2008 19:44:25 +0000

Did you just make your right breast twitch? No related posts. No related posts.

Customer Support.

Julie — Mon, 21 Jan 2008 18:41:40 +0000

If you only touch it once a year, you’ll forget how to use it. No related posts. No related posts.

Make it Your Way

Julie — Mon, 21 Jan 2008 18:36:23 +0000

[In response to having healthier lunch options ...]

Fine. Tofu any way you want it.

No related posts.

Pitching to a client

Julie — Thu, 13 Dec 2007 18:58:05 +0000

If I were Pinocchio, I could stick my nose up someone’s ass in Japan right now. No related posts. No related posts.

Regular John

Julie — Thu, 13 Dec 2007 18:56:59 +0000

No, because a real slut would not say “relationship.” No related posts. No related posts.

Can you see me now?

Julie — Thu, 13 Dec 2007 18:55:54 +0000

I’ll hold up some fingers and do the exam. No related posts. No related posts.

And the CEO resigns …

Julie — Thu, 13 Dec 2007 18:55:14 +0000

50% of me thought I was Tom Cruise. No related posts. No related posts.

Famous Texas Sayings – I

Julie — Thu, 13 Dec 2007 18:54:43 +0000

Well butter my butt and call me biscuit! No related posts. No related posts.

Productive Meeting?

Julie — Thu, 13 Dec 2007 18:53:23 +0000

I mean it wasn’t The Sound of Music but … No related posts. No related posts.

ED or Jail?

Julie — Thu, 13 Dec 2007 18:52:14 +0000

I’d rather be guilty than impotent. No related posts. No related posts.

My space.

Julie — Thu, 13 Dec 2007 18:49:44 +0000

I already took new feet pctures. No related posts. No related posts.

132 Pounds.

Julie — Wed, 12 Dec 2007 15:46:12 +0000

I lost 60 kilometers today! No related posts. No related posts.

Genius.

Julie — Wed, 12 Dec 2007 15:45:32 +0000

That’s what I like about you. You learn things and talk vaguely about them. No related posts. No related posts.

Memories …

Julie — Wed, 12 Dec 2007 15:44:54 +0000

… So when I clowned for Christ, this was one of the songs … No related posts. No related posts.

Zzzzzzz

Julie — Wed, 12 Dec 2007 15:43:00 +0000

It’s good weather for sleeping in your car. No related posts. No related posts.

Name that product!

Julie — Wed, 12 Dec 2007 15:42:03 +0000

Our vocabulary is so good we’re makin’ up words to use later. No related posts. No related posts.

A reverse wet willy …

Julie — Wed, 12 Dec 2007 15:41:19 +0000

… It’s when your ear spits in your mouth. No related posts. No related posts.

How much will we make on that deal?

Julie — Wed, 12 Dec 2007 15:40:33 +0000

Three Happy Meals and a pack of smokes. No related posts. No related posts.

Red Light.

Julie — Wed, 12 Dec 2007 15:39:52 +0000

It’s one thing to be a whore, but don’t be desperate about it. No related posts. No related posts.

Chatty Cathy.

Julie — Wed, 12 Dec 2007 15:37:43 +0000

When you go on a date with her you have to bring your own tube sock. No related posts. No related posts.

Too busy.

Julie — Wed, 12 Dec 2007 15:36:56 +0000

J: A stalker is the last thing you need.

K: True, I’ve got my hands full right now.

No related posts.

Moonlighting.

Julie — Wed, 12 Dec 2007 15:36:01 +0000

It’s okay, that means I get to see more dead bodies. No related posts. No related posts.