Things My Co-Workers Say
Inane Statements Taken Wildly Out of Context
I’m all business. I do not have time for gnome funerals.
When did you first learn about lesbians?
Pull your shirt up, I can see your stomach.
Where is it? Is it strapped to a turtle?
Throw me a bone every once-in-a-while. After all, I am the boss.
We will be profitable by the end of this year.
How many rupees is a refrigerator?
I realize I’m not a smart person. I know, I’ve been tested.
I can also see her with a King Dong.
Ohmigod! I have been servicing that woman non-stop!
Lesson learned: made-up words are hard to teach.
Do I have whip cream in my hair?
I feel like the dog act after a stripper.
The first few days you’re just trying to keep them alive.
The mob’s not what it used to be since Ricco.
The sequins will save you.
“She’s ugly, but she’s mine.”
If you only touch it once a year, you’ll forget how to use it.
If I were Pinocchio, I could stick my nose up someone’s ass in Japan right now.
I’ll hold up some fingers and do the exam.
50% of me thought I was Tom Cruise.
[from an executive e-mail to the company] … But HARD is frigging good. REAL HARD is what we love …