Things My Co-Workers Say
Inane Statements Taken Wildly Out of Context
How many rupees is a refrigerator?
I’m trying to crawl back into the womb.
I realize I’m not a smart person. I know, I’ve been tested.
I can also see her with a King Dong.
Your little thing needs big facts.
He’s alreday caught me doing handstands in the living room.
Ohmigod! I have been servicing that woman non-stop!
I managed to stick my ass to my chair with a Slo Poke.
Lesson learned: made-up words are hard to teach.
He looks like his butt cheeks have been super-glued together!
Oh, and I remember now why I was making funny noises.
Were you camping al dente?
We need to put more arms and legs around it.
Do I have whip cream in my hair?
I didn’t know if she was gonna kiss me, but whatever she was doing, I wasn’t for it.
Recycling is a conspiracy theory. And don’t get me started about global warming!
Maybe they dragged her up into the Alps and made her the new Swiss Miss.
It’s all magic and it’s all very simple.
I feel like I could swallow a whole turkey!
I feel like the dog act after a stripper.
There’s only so many ways to put on your pants.
He just has to do one thing with a shoe and I’m happy.
The first few days you’re just trying to keep them alive.
My grandma went to a church one time and they were against deoderant.
Oh and my husband had some questions about your hole.
I mean I hit my thumb with a hammer like 7 to 10 times!
When I do it, I have to grab one corner of the matress and swing my legs out.
Meanwhile, who ever thought of that is picturing baby-Tees, underwear and a pillow fight.
I’d rather be pants-ed than shark-ed!
Yeah, Virginia sucks. Everything’s illegal here.
Can you feel the sexual tension between the two Mikes?
The mob’s not what it used to be since Ricco.
I may snort, but I walk pretty.
Dear God, thanks for making me hot.
26 e-mails today about facial hair.
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