Things My Co-Workers Say
Inane Statements Taken Wildly Out of Context
If I were Pinocchio, I could stick my nose up someone’s ass in Japan right now.
No, because a real slut would not say “relationship.”
I’ll hold up some fingers and do the exam.
50% of me thought I was Tom Cruise.
Well butter my butt and call me biscuit!
I mean it wasn’t The Sound of Music but …
I’d rather be guilty than impotent.
I already took new feet pctures.
I lost 60 kilometers today!
That’s what I like about you. You learn things and talk vaguely about them.
… So when I clowned for Christ, this was one of the songs …
It’s good weather for sleeping in your car.
Our vocabulary is so good we’re makin’ up words to use later.
… It’s when your ear spits in your mouth.
Three Happy Meals and a pack of smokes.
It’s one thing to be a whore, but don’t be desperate about it.
When you go on a date with her you have to bring your own tube sock.
J: A stalker is the last thing you need. K: True, I’ve got my hands full right now.
It’s okay, that means I get to see more dead bodies.
[from an executive e-mail to the company] … But HARD is frigging good. REAL HARD is what we love …
He lays me all the way back …
They need to give us parting gifts like they do on Wheel of Fortune.
Another reason I like K-Fed …