Things My Co-Workers Say
OccupyMyPants
“Sorry, I couldn’t hear what you were saying over the sound of your hard tabs.” via @katfallond
Does anyone want some stuff for your hands so they can smell like My Little Pony?
I agree. This seems like a good idea, but in reality it’s probably a terrible one.
I don’t feel like wasting my energy checking up on the people I work with.
All babies change colors.
This is how a muppet without a hand in its ass would sit.
He’s gonna give me a mouthful when I get home.
I pushed a new site design over the weekend. I still have some fine tuning to do. Let me know what you think.
I kinda wanna throw up now… and I’m pissed cause I wanted ice cream
Changing your shorts don’t change your ass crack.
I can’t keep my hands of your balls.
I feel like he’s like a dog who walks around humping.
I like that shirt. Can I see your teeth?
I’m all business. I do not have time for gnome funerals.
When did you first learn about lesbians?
We didn’t have confetti so we tossed the salad.
You and your dog have ruined organic peanut butter for me.
We own the manure regardless of what the cow ate.
You gotta touch ‘em when they’re happy.
So you can arrange flowers but not commas?
It’s so flat … Yep, you can stand on a tuna can and watch your dog run away for two weeks.
Pull your shirt up, I can see your stomach.
They closed the office today. They are out throwing stones.
It’s like a high maintenance girlfriend. You wine her, you dine her and she still won’t redeem.
Teach ‘em to fish or we’re fucked forever.
Do we know that workers aren’t wiping their asses with their hands?
Where is it? Is it strapped to a turtle?
Don’t pee in the punch bowl.
It’s like sticking my face in a fan.
I decided over the weekend that I don’t use feathers enough.
It’s like when someone hands you warm candy from their pocket.
Throw me a bone every once-in-a-while. After all, I am the boss.
We’re doing the fat girl shuffle.
We will be profitable by the end of this year.
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